my name is jessica and this is what i look like.
you can call me chesmoles or chester. i'm 24 and i'm fucking crazy.
i vent about my life a lot. i post a lot of shit about music, movies, and tv. oh, and there will probably be a lot of naked people and sexual shit.
feel free to say hello.
Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor
…LET ME JUST SAY THAT I’VE BEEN GETTING INTERESTING MESSAGES LATELY.
more often than i’d like to admit, actually. and it sucks because i typically have fake nails.
speaking of, yesterday, i was on the drive home from my vacation and out of nowhere, i had to throw up, so we pulled over to a gas station so i could go in and barf in the bathroom, since i typically shit when i puke. after i was done pooping and puking my guts out, i went to wipe and my poop saturated the TP so much that my finger broke through it almost immediately, and it grossed me out so much that i barfed again.
YOU GUYS ARE SO LUCKY THAT I SHARE ALL OF MY EMBARRASSING STORIES WITH YOU WEIRD FUCKS.
grape, orange, root beer, them jolly rancher’s layered ones, and banana mania.
i really don’t. this is me in my bra that i wear every day.
when i lean back, my boobs fall back into my neck and face. if i sit at jonah’s house in the living room, i typically sit with a pillow on my lap, which i rest my breasts on, which makes them look higher if i take a photo.
in the video with cabo, i am both sitting with a pillow under my boobs and leaning back. i’m guessing that’s what you’re talking about, because i thought they looked very high, too.
i had a dream once that me and hannah were pregnant and birthing each others babies once.
i don’t date robots.
i would gay marry the fuck out of hannah, because who wouldn’t?
i have touched hannah’s butt. popo zao like a cinder block.
i have pet hannah’s hair while dying it…also while she slept, i hovered over her and smelled her and gently sobbed and wiped my tears with her gorgeous locks.
hannah’s eyes scare me because they see into my soul and it makes me nervous.
i was ariel for halloween in kindergarten so hannah is so fucking jealous of me and if she says she isn’t, she’s a bold faced goddamn liar.
assuming it doesn’t already have one, you mean?
i would probably put it in your poop chute, to be honest. i’ve totally humped a dude with a strap-on before. it’s neat.
please motorboat my massive testicles.
i would put my penis in it.
go hunting.
3 - five things that irritate me about dudes (which fit most dudes but not all, so don’t bitch at me for stereotyping):
the need to be “manly”, impoliteness, inability to show emotions, their natural stinkiness, and ball hair.
five things that irritate me about girls:
they’re bitches, they’re whores, they’re whiny, they cry too much, and they’re stupid.
13 - ONE PERSON FROM TUMBLR I’D THROW OFF A CLIFF: that fucking anon that says shit about jonah all the time.
ONE I’D MARRY: i’m sure donald glover doesn’t count, so…is it gay if i say lisa? because it’s totally lisa.
ONE I’D FUCK: since donald is still a no go probably…oh boy…tie between chewy and gus. second place tie goes to annika and tre. i’m a total ho and i couldn’t pick one.
if i woke up one morning and just noticed a penis, i would immediately start to jerk off. immediately. then shortly after i would go pee and try it no handed. then various other things, but those two things first.
